Sunday, July 29, 2012

Just the three of us

After a week of appointments, work and sharing chores, but never in the same place, we three woke up Sunday morning with nothing planned and nothing left on the to-do list.
Well, almost nothing.
Jacob decided it was time for a communal shearing in the laundry (while I didn't have to go under the knife, I was a big part in keeping the good cheer going and cleaning up afterwards).  The expression on Gus' face tells volumes of how enjoyable this chore is - for both the shearer and the shearee. But on the bright side, Gus looks sharp and he likes his newest "brissely" hairdo.

Next up we piled into the jeepster and headed for higher grounds (here in Western North Carolina that means 3,000-something feet, as ex-Vail residents we can still have a good laugh about that). Where the air is fresh and breathable - a nice change after a week of toil in hot and humid conditions.
This, by the way, is just one of the many views we were granted this morning on the Blue Ridge Parkway. In the center of the picture is Looking Glass Mountain, our local landmark.
We live in a dark-green world.

My two favorite getaway companions. They are getting to be more and more alike
with each passing day, one refining the other, it's a joy to watch.

A rare sight. Jacob remembered to snap a picture. I'm not camera-shy. My husband is.

See? Like I said. I'm not camera-shy.

A trait I passed on to Gus, who always duty-fully - albeit absent-mindedly - smiles for the camera. Preferrably with a cool motorcycle that is not ours.
No, ours, is sitting in Daddy's makeshift garage (which used to be our guest cottage)
Oh well. We had a great time out tooling around in the jeepster.
Can't wait for another day that finds us three without anything to do.
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Sunday, July 22, 2012

Easy as riding a bike

Earlier this month, we opted to buy Gus a new bike, since he has outgrown his push-bike, both in size and concept. It was time - we decided in our parental wisdom - to introduce pedals and brakes.

I expected that it would take weeks if not months for Gus to pick up the new skills required to ride a big bike (too big for him really, but I don't want to have to buy another one next summer,
since he is growing at a good clip)
But here goes Gus, after 15 minutes yesterday and another hour today. He loves the feeling of going on his own power - only he likes to pedal fast on the downhills and pedal rarely on the uphills...

We still have to nail down the concept of back-pedaling for the disc brake, as well as getting on and off without a hitch...but I'm so proud of our boy, who loves a good physical challenge and puts all his intellectual might to figuring out how to make it work.
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Sunday, July 1, 2012

Sad, so sad

Your first shy hello to me was by way of an insatiable craving for obscure recipes. I finally gave in and went to the store and bought peanuts and raddishes and other unusual ingredients. Then the usual symptoms set in: a sudden need for an afternoon nap, bras suddenly to small to hold my new curves, a general uplift in my spirit - feelings of sudden inexplicable joy and strength would seize me and seemingly never let up. I knew from a few days on that I was pregnant. Expecting at 42. I felt biblical, I felt singled out for a miracle, I felt happy. I felt like Sarah and Hannah must have felt when they realized they were pregnant by God's will. Jacob and I held off on a test for a few more weeks, we wanted to wrap our minds around a shockingly new reality that had seemed to not be possible for us anymore. We made careful plans, always hedging for the possibility that you might go away before we ever laid eyes upon your beating heart. All the statistics reminded us to do so, but hope kept us in happy denial. When we finally did the test, we felt that pure, shiny joy that only comes a few times in life. We were numb to anything negative. Together we could do anything. Even make a new life. We went and ran through the mud, the pictures of that day, tell a story of two people who share a new wellspring of joy together. I was feeling too sure, perhaps. Too cocky. I was in awe that my 42-year-old body wanted to do this, but I was happy for the experience. I made first preparations. Bought a sulfide-free shampoo. Tweaked my diet, abstained from caffein and even took it easy - something that is hard for me to do. You chose to leave me at 6 weeks this Thursday on an unbearably sunny, happy day with little warning but much pain and suffering. But I welcomed the physical pain, because it made you real to me and it helped me justify all the tears that are still flowing as I once again go from Sarah to Job - wondering what else difficult God has in store for me. I imagined you many times during the six weeks we had together. Tough never boy or girl, you were happy and a precious sibling to Gus. It make me especially happy to daydream up a sibling for Gus. "I can't make friends for him, but I can make a sibling for him," I thought to myself - probably with more self-satisfaction than God wants to see from me. But most of all you made me happy without much reason. Just happy for no reason other than that you were there, growing and making me feel more whole by the day. I am so very grateful for your brief stay in my body for the brief respite you brought to my sore soul, for the belief you gave me that good things are still ahead of me. Now I try to keep you in my heart and harvest some of that joy that you gave me. Your absence fills me with great sadness, but I try to remember that you were here for a reason, I just have to find that reason and hold on to it. Thank you, little startling, for coming into my life.