Gus is really doing a number on me these day. Aside from the No. 2 (which has yet to go in the potty, but goes anywhere else at any time of the day now) he today began entertaining the preschool teachers with new words. Words that they had to repeat to me in hushed tones right by the door. He's already regaled them with all kinds of words for excrements (which he gets from all his poopie books and movies) as well as a couple of words he uses for certain parts of the female anatomy, which is payback for me nursing him until he was two.
I've heard from other parents before that your kid will embarass you someday by repeating things at school that are not meant for the general public, however, Gus in his trademark I-will-top-that fashion has added a twist to it.
He says words we don't say, never have, whose origin I'm simply not sure of.
Preschool teacher (by the door, looking worried and curious) says in a whiper: "Gus cussed today."
Me: "Oh really. What did he say?"
Preschool teacher (looking over her shoulder to the backup teacher for agreement): "He said damn."
Me: "Damn? We don't say damn at home, are you sure he is saying damn?"
Teachers in unison "Oh yes, he said it several times."
Me (now looking puzzled) "Well, I guess we'll tell him not to say that, but I honestly don't know where he would have that from."
Teachers (now both cornering me by the door): "He also kept saying divorce, divorce."
Me: (now mildly worried and at the same time looking for a candid camera hint but to no avail): "That's not a word we use either, and it's not in any of his books and I'm pretty sure Elmo doesn't say it either."
Teachers (all three looking sufficiently worried now): "Well that's what it sounded like"
Me: (now feeling defensive without wanting to): "We are not getting divorced nor would we say that word in front of him."
I made a quick exit after that (with Gus' poopie undies in a knotted plastic bag in hand and Gus in hasty tow)
Where does he get that from?
Really, no one he knows is getting divorced.
And I don't cuss. Ever. Neither does his Daddy.
Though right now I want to say a bad word.
But I won't.
I can't wait for the next "word surprise" he dishes up.