Thursday, August 23, 2007

Pros & Cons of pregnancy

Yesterday I ruminated on the fact that soon I won't be pregnant anymore...I will probably be too busy to care then, but right now I have a certain melancholic feeling about saying goodbye to a state of being where the breaks, are as abundant as the stares, all without the dirty diapers and sleepless nights

One of my friends remarked to me early in my pregnancy, "you're only pregnant for the first time once, so enjoy every moment of it" and she is so right.

Here are a few of my favorites pregnacy pros:
- It's a 9-month-long all-you-can-eat buffet (well, minus the beer or wine and you should eat your greens and fruit and hold off on too many sweets and carbs)
- Hair that's both luscious and grows an inch a day
- Skin that's blemishless (well the brown spots aren't that fetching, but not a pimple in sight)
- Sleep so deep, I have to "dig out" in the morning
- No matter what I do - put on a shoe, ride a bike, sit and do nothing - people complement me for looking good and being so active
- You can always mention "bedrest" if someone wants something from you
- If I say something stupid, the belly explains it all (literally)
- I suddenly float in water like I've always wanted to - I'm like an inflatable toy
- A pregnancy belly is an amazing fashion accessory - suddenly anything goes...
- I get first spot in line automatically at any buffet-style dinner party
- Lots of knowing smiles from older ladies (I know I'm clueless, but someday I get to be smug too)
- Suddenly being sweaty is "glowing" not embarrassing
- I have a "built in" conversation starter wherever I go
- Free belly rubs with some people (if I was a dog I'd be really into this)
- You can fall asleep anywhere at any time - everybody is so understanding
- Free hands, people will jockey for position to carry things for you - purse-sized packages out of the post office, for example
- Old men flirting at the post office - they're the only males not intimidated by my circumstances and they get a kick out of me hoisting myself onto my bike or shouldering my backpack...

As with anything in life, pregnancy, too, comes with some challenges. Here are a couple that kept me on my toes:
- Going to the bathroom - first, all the time, then all night, then hardly ever, then again all the time put only for a teaspoon full at any one time.
- Going to the bathroom in weird places; I know where every construction site port-o-potty is, along with all businesses who don't care if a sweaty pregnant women comes breezing through. Lowe's has really nice facilities, Wal-Mart not so much
- Going to the bathroom - just kidding I'll move on
- A rapidly declining IQ - I swear, I used to be halfway smart!
- Scatter-brainedness - Ask me anything and I won't know and then forget that you asked...
- Indecisiveness - Ask me to make a choice and I'll explore all the options enthusiastically before exhausting myself in not being able to settle on anything
- Brown spots on my face - at first it was freckles, now they are continents about to chin is a color entirely unrelated to anything else on my body
- A stuffy nose in the morning and leg cramps at night - what will sneaky pregnancy hormones think of next?
- A weight gain of 25 lbs plus - on certain days that's unsettling
- The inability to bend over - nice when others pick things up for you...challenging when your husband refuses to polish your toes or shave your legs for you
- The waddle - I never thought it would happen to me, but it has. I'm waddling - toes out, trunk swaying from one side to the other, yup it's a waddle
- Rapid nail growth - I can't keep up, clipped neat one day, claws the next!
- Bleeding gums - increased blood volume makes you want to seek medical attention everytime you brush your teeth
- Getting cornered by other pregnant women, to exchange an endless litany of complaints...I get bored talking about how hot I might be or how achy my back is
- The labor horror story: I still can't figure out the motives behind them, but certain women LOVE to share their tale of survival, think Texas Chain Massacre. Each time I hear another one, I promise myself that even if my labor story is gruesome and long, I will not mess up some innocent pregnant woman's day with it someday.
- Fashion catalogues in the mail - Do skinny jeans, big belts and high heels look silly to anyone else?

1 comment:

maia said...

Skinny jeans, big belts and high heels look silly to me...and I'm not pregnant! I think maybe I'm getting it just me that doesn't want to see the '80s rehashed as a fashion statement? It didn't look good on me the first time around!
You are a beautiful pregnant person...enjoy!